We hear a lot about how to “not be chained by the past.” How we have to move on, and embrace new things and experiences,
stop thinking about the yesterdays and what-ifs and if-onlys. That’s excellent advice, and it’s true that it is possibly to
be unduly bogged down by what has gone before. If you live in the past, then you’re missing out on the present, not to
mention the future.
But how about learning from the past? What I’ve found is that as we “grow up” we often leave the best parts of ourselves
behind. We tell ourselves that we have to give up on our dreams, because we think they are not possible – without
seriously considering whether they really are. People say that we have to be realistic about things, stop being childish,
get a job, move out. Society says this and that and we listen, without stopping to think about whether we agree.
So sometimes we often forget what we really really want to do, and in extreme cases, who we really are.
A friend of mine once said that he used to imagine himself when he was 4-5 years old sometimes, because that was the time in which
he was most in touch with what he wanted.
You don’t need to go that far back, but we can learn from the past in other ways as well. What hopes and aspirations did you
have when you were younger? Or even a couple of years ago? Are you heading towards them now? Have you changed your targets?
Think about people, places, things. Life often has a way of pushing us towards our purpose, giving us signs and guidance,
but it’s just that we didn’t notice at the time. How about now? Do things look any different?
My mum used to always tell me to look forwards, not back. All good, well-meaning advice, but she tried to excise out the bad
parts of her. I realized that she was not moving on but rather running away from the past. Sometimes even the bad parts
(especially the bad parts!) can help us realize new, important things about ourselves and life in general.
So today I invite you to look back at your past. It doesn’t need to be full on psychotherapy – there’ll be no couches or
mothers involved. Just a short trip back to memory lane. Who were you when you were younger? What did you like to do? What
didn’t you like to do? What would the person you are now say the person you are then – and what would the past you say to
the you of now?
Don’t live in the past – with one eye on the rearview mirror of life. No, build on the past, keep yourself grounded in the present,
and look forwards into the future.