Let’s face it, people can be mean. (They can be nice too!) They can stay stuff they don’t mean. They can say stuff they
mean and be completely wrong about it. A lot of what people can say can also hurt. A lot.
How about this one? Are you upset that people keep on yammering at you at you to “do something with your life” and “take a stand” and “get out there?” As if it were that easy! If it was why wouldn’t you be doing it already? I’m reminded of a comment that I saw on a written by a fresh graduate on a forum somewhere in which he said that it was like people around him expecting him to put on his Job Boots and Job Backpack and blast off into Jobland.
But try to think about it this way :
They believe in your potential. Of course they do! If not they wouldn’t be harassing you in the way they do. Think about
it. If they really believed that you were a deadbeat good-for-nothing, they wouldn’t even be bothered to talk to you about
it. It may be a bit of a backhanded compliment, but it’s a show of confidence nonetheless.
Then there are the nay-sayers. You think you’re on to something good, or you’ve just discovered something interesting to
explore, that might just be what you’re searching for (or connect to it somehow) You’re feeling good about yourself and
the world, but then they show up. “What do you mean you’re going to do” (insert whatever it is here) “You can’t possible
manage all that” “You won’t have enough time.” and other related pieces of “advice” you could do better without.
Once again, stop and think WHY they are doing this. Several possibilities suggest themselves :
1) They really are concerned for you. Parents and family often fall into this category – they think that you’re reaching for
the stars with your shoelaces untied, that you really haven’t got what it takes and you’re going to trip and fall and land
flat on your face. Well, maybe you are and maybe you aren’t, but that shouldn’t stop you from trying!
Try and see it from their point of view. But also, if you feel angry, let yourself be. Not in front of them of course!
Let it out somewhere safe and quiet and go back to talk to them when you feel ready. They might have the best of intentions,
but not really understand where you are coming from.
Try telling them that you appreciate their concern but that you would also appreciate some support, and not negative
comments. Assure them that it’s not like you are flying off to Africa to save the world tomorrow (even if you are) and that
you have all the essential bases covered – food, water, housing etc. At the end of the day it’s your life to live, not
theirs, and even if they don’t believe in you, you believe in yourself. Show them this website so they can see where you’re
coming from.
2) They are being negative. We all have met people in our lives who are critical, pessimistic, rude and a whole host of
other things besides. But you know what? You don’t need to listen to them. You don’t need to let them get to you. You can
just ignore them and move on. Don’t let them get in the way of what you want to do, or your journey.
However, try not to hate them either. Get angry if you’re angry, let it go, and move on. They may have reasons for why
they are being negative. They had a bad day at work, or something is bothering them, or they’re so used to being that way
they can’t see how it affects themselves and others. Don’t take it personally, people can be negative, they can do bad
things. Let it go and move on.
But what if the person saying all these things is YOU?
Well, the same things still apply. In each of the examples I’ve outlined above, if you substitute “you” for “them”, I think
you’ll find that you can still respond the same way. You can understand that sometimes you don’t believe in yourself or
your own potential. You can appreciate the concern you have for yourself and your future, even if it sometimes expresses
itself as fear. You can forgive yourself if you’re being excessively negative.
So in closing, people are going to be there, and sometimes they are going to say things you really don’t want to hear.
Don’t let it get to you, and keep on trucking.